Welcome to Live A Little, the space for soft conversations with a big soul. Nikki Lilly is exploring the weird in-between of modern life – where you can have a lot going on but still wonder if you’re missing something deeper. This podcast is not about having the answer – it’s about figuring it out.
welcome back to live a little with nikki lilly... this week comes with a gentle note that nikki is diving deep into grief and loss.
nikki opens with open tabs - the tab she's loving, the tab living rent free and the tab that needs closing.
but this episode is really about something nikki's been unpicking in therapy - what it's like to grieve a version of yourself that you never got to have or a life you didn't get to live. when nikki was diagnosed at six years old, she completely changed as a person... that little girl who thought life was magical and open-ended, who wanted to be a fairy when she grew up and meant it - she got pulled away too soon.
nikki gets deeply vulnerable about grief mourning, realising she's been grieving someone who is still alive (herself), and how her therapist challenged her to think about her 44-year-old self looking back.
this episode also introduces the fig tree theory from sylvia plath's the bell jar, nikki reflects on grief and she talks about becoming someone her younger self would have needed - someone safe, gentle, someone who stays and keeps going when she isn't able to.
if you've ever grieved a version of yourself, a person you lost, a path that closed, or futures that didn't get chosen... this one's for you.
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